If you are truly my friend…

Lately I have been getting a steady steam of postings on Facebook challenging my loyalty, friendship, support, shared beliefs, etc.

“If you really are my good friend, relative, fellow Farmville player, (and so forth) then you will immediately copy and comment on my rantings; write a single word describing how we met; repost my outrageous claims without question; or show your support for my (fill in the blank) cause, belief, religion, bra size…by sharing with the masses and thereby proving your love and admiration for me. Otherwise, you are just a nice old man with whiskers like my mommy says, and not really Santa Clause (or my friend)…and I will hate you forever.”

Come on people…This is not right!  Everybody knows the best way to test a friendship is by asking to borrow a large sum of money with a vague promise to repay someday.  Get with the program.

So, if you are truly my friend…

Mail me your generous cash loan as soon as possible. Five figures before the decimal point would be nice; a cashiers check is acceptable too; or for convenience sake, just send me your gold AMEX card. Thank you. I will gladly repay you the second Tuesday of next week.

Otherwise, I will hate you forever and scratch your name off my holiday card mailing list (if I can find it)…

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Richard Allan Jones is the author of the comic adventure novel, “Drafted,” available now at amazon.com; and the upcoming political thriller, “Party Favors.”

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