Theatre Review — Hamilton (National Tour)

Instructions: Read out loud in a “rap” style; white people pretend it’s a poem (except for EMINEM and Vanilla Ice). With apologies to Lin-Manuel Miranda…

Last night I took a trip to the Pantages, bought a ticket to a show; handed over half my wages

took a seat inside, excitement was contagious, as I flipped through my program’s pages

The lights went down, audience started to stir when out on the stage walked Aaron Burr

We listened closely as he started rappin, didn’t want to miss a thing, about what was happenin

then he introduced us to a native son, a man called Alexander Hamilton

From the Carribean, a bastard clear, daddy walked out, mama died holding him near

Had to escape, use his charms, in New York City, he heard the call to arms

Freedom was the cry from Laurens and Lafayette, joined by Burr and Mulligan, against the British threat

Washington with Hamilton by his side fought the bloody British and turned the tide

Born a new nation, like an infant it cried, as the founding fathers looked on with pride.

…and that was only Act One.

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The costumes were great, the set inspiring, the orchestra top notch, the dancers never tiring

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choreography on its toes, (who knows how they moved so gracefully in those heavy clothes)

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Too many actors to name them all by name, so I pick out a few who brought their A game

Rory O’Malley as King George always made us laugh…

Jordon Donica (Lafayette and Jefferson), tall as a giraffe, brought his characters to life with aplomb and panache…

Rubin Carbajal (John/Philip) got to die in Act One and Act Two, he played it so real we all got blue…

Joshua Henry (Aaron Burr) started the show, hero, and a villain, he rapped a different tune, then spent most of the show, envious of Hamilton and wanting to be “in the room”…

Isaiah Johnson (Washington), played frustrated but strong, defeated the British and became the father of our country where he belonged…

Ah, the ladies, Amber Iman (Peggy/Maria) and Solea Pfeiffer (Eliza Hamilton) brought sympathy, sophistication, and class, rapping with the best of them, and beat boxing with sass…

Finally, Michael Luwoye played with intensity/layers the star of the show, my recommendation? If you get a chance, I’d go…

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Richard Allan Jones is an actor, musician, and author from Los Angeles, California.

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Ten Reasons Hillary Clinton Is Qualified For President

Hillary Clinton
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As we head into the home stretch of the 2016 presidential election, I thought it important to take a close look at the two leading candidates and review their qualifications for the highest office in the good old U.S.A. Today let’s begin with the democratic nominee, Hillary Rodham Clinton.

  1. She is already very aware of all the secrets of the White House, including the alarm code, the location of the kitchen, how to board up the Kennedy Room to keep Bill out, where they hide the official stationary, and how to plan the menus for State Dinners.
  2. She has eight years experience as a US Senator from New York, a state she knew little about before she moved there to get elected (knowing it could never happen in Illinois or Arkansas). She got three major bills passed that she sponsored — naming a historic site, a post office, and a road, proving she is very good at naming things.
  3. She has four years international experience as Secretary of State under Obama (if you can’t beat ’em, join ’em). Continuing her hawkish ways in the Senate, where she voted to approve the war in Afganistan and for the Iraq resolution, she advocated the US military intervention in Libya, thereby achieving the trifecta of annoying most of the middle east. Adding to her international experience, Mrs. Clinton also has vacationed out of the US several times, called a friend in Rome once, and has a preference for French perfume.
  4. As First Lady in Arkansas, she learned all about southern cooking and can prepare homemade grits, roadkill, hog jowls, and collard greens without throwing up. If the presidential thing doesn’t work out she could open a restaurant in Hope called Monica’s Cafe.
  5. She is very smart about technology. As a Federal employee, she managed to set up private messaging system software and a private server that violated State Department protocols and procedures, and federal laws and regulations governing recordkeeping requirements and send unsecured secret messages for four years without getting caught. She also holds the Donkey Kong record score on the Secretary of State’s office PS-4.
  6. She is an author of five books and an experienced public speaker to corporations and Wall Street earning her thousands of dollars personally and in campaign funds (again she will be okay financially if the presidential and restaurant things don’t work out). A side benefit — as a writer she can compose her own acceptance speech, as well as her annual state of the union speeches, and fireside chats, thereby saving her and the taxpayer money, which can be applied to the increasing costs of Obama Care.
  7. She is a lawyer and will be able to represent herself in any future legal cases of violating Federal/state laws and or constitution issues, like abolishing the second amendment. Another cost savings for the taxpayer to counteract the millions of dollars going to fund liberal programs of supporting illegal immigrants with free education, medical care, welfare and 50% off coupons to Taco Bell.
  8. She is a “mature” woman, so taxpayers don’t have to worry about paying for six weeks of maternity leave (although she is already receiving social security payments, from a dwindling resource).
  9. She will get rid of Homeland Security so we can open up our borders to any and all people who want to come to this country without a passport or background check, giving them Federal jobs, a reasonable $100,000 stipend each to help them relocate, a get out of jail free card, and a lifetime subscription to the magazine, Terrorist International.
  10. Although claiming not to understand Bernie’s “socialism” or “religious” views, she still admires the man’s hippy protesting roots, because she and Bill were young and idealistic once in college. She plans to pardon Bernie if she is elected and not send him to Guantanamo to be with all his other comrades.bill and hillary

Please recognize the ten comments above are purely my personal opinion, are based on little to no facts, and do not reflect the opinions of management. They are presented in an attempt at humor and to bring a smile to your face if you are not a Democrat, any of the persons named, or a member of Congress. I plan to give equal time to lampooning Donald Trump…right after the election.

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Richard Allan Jones is the author of the adventure/comedy novel Drafted which is available at amazon.com and the upcoming political thriller, Identity Check.

Oscars 2016

oscarOkay…prepare to disagree…but the #Oscars are designed to recognize the world’s best performances in the best films regardless of skin color, age, political leanings or religion. The process is far from perfect but it is supposed to be the opinions of a qualified group of people in the entertainment business. It is obvious that the Academy voters today are no longer proportionately representative of the entertainment community or the US at large.
For the record, the US population is roughly divided with 64% European-Americans; 16% Hispanic-Americans; 12% African-Americans; and 5% Asian-Americans.
There were only two Americans last night who won individual Oscars–Leo DiCaprio and Brie Larson. The other six individual Oscars went to Mexico (Alejandro and Emmanuel); Britain (Mark and Jenny); Sweden (Alicia); and Italy (Ennio). That seems pretty diverse to me, although African and Asian-Americans were not represented.
Oh, you meant only in the nominated actor categories?
Okay, here is the list (Note only 9 out of 20 are Americans):
Bryan Cranston–American
Matt Damon–American
Leo DiCaprio*–American
Michael Fassbender–German/Irish
Eddie Redmayne–British
Christian Bale–British
Tom Hardy–British
Mark Ruffalo–American
Mark Rylance*–British
Sly Stalone–American
Cate Blanchett–British
Brie Larson*–American
Jennifer Lawrence–American
Charlotte Rampling–British
Saoirse Ronan–Irish
Jennifer Jason Leigh–American
Rooney Mara–American
Rachel McAdams–Canadian
Alicia Vikander*–Swedish
Kate Winslet–British
I didn’t mind the upfront statements addressing the issue of minority representation, well justified. But when it continued the entire show, rather than highlight the issue it turned into more of an entitlement statement. We all have faced bias…wrong color, age, weight, speech, etc. but I would hate for us to return to the days of quotas where demographics outweigh qualifications in any field.
We will never all agree on the choices made by the Academy…like when will they pick performances and films that people have actually seen? Sorry if your favorites didn’t get nominated or win, but to steal a saying from the sports world…there’s always next year.
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Bus. Casual Web Head_MP_8831Richard Allan Jones is a frustrated actor, a member of the Screen Actors Guild and author of the comedy-adventure novel, DRAFTED.

Hillary Clinton’s Best Qualifications for President in 2016

bill and hillaryHillary Clinton, a liberal Democrat and Bill’s wife, was born in Chicago and raised a Methodist. She became the first First Lady in USA history to enter politics when she was elected as a Senator from New York, even though she had never lived there previously. She hopes to become the first woman president in our history and to coin the term “zillions” of dollars in national debt as she rolls out both new and old programs to redistribute this country’s net worth to everybody both here and abroad…at least until we are taken over by Russia or one of the many other aggressive world powers since our military will likely be broke and all our personal weapons removed so we have no way to defend ourselves.
Anyway, here are my suggestions on her best qualifications:
1. Yale Law Degree (like many of the other politicians running)
2. Eight Years in the White House (she already knows the alarm code & where the kitchen is located)
3. Eight Years in the US Senate where she co-sponsored all of three bills and had to rest after the effort.
4. Experience testifying in Washington about her e-mails, Benghazi, interns, super-PACs, wall street sponsored speeches, etc.
5. Loves to fly for free as the most-traveled Secretary of State in history visiting 112 countries during her four-year tenure, traversing 956,733 miles — enough to span the globe more than 38 times — and spending 401 total days on the road. (Not to mention all that tax-payer funded free food!)
6. She believes in same-sex marriage as long as it is between a man and a woman.
7. She believes in HUGE government, the more people on the dole, the better. Considering 100 cabinet positions and expanding the IRS to collect all the new taxes necessary to fund all the programs & support promised during the campaign.
8. Supports women’s rights including the right to wear pants suits for all occasions and having your partner carry your purse without making a face.
9. Supports your right to turn your recreational guns back into the government so they can redistribute to criminals & crazies who need them for work.
10. Loves Obamacare and supports every illegal alien’s right to free government health care as long as the rest of us pay for it.
11. Raised in a wealthy middle-class household, but served on the board of the corporation Wal-Mart, so she knows poor people, the downtrodden and poorly dressed.
12. Hates war but supported US invasions of Afganistan, Iraq, Lybia, Canada, and Colorado.
Don’t forget to VOTE!
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Richard Allan Jones is the author of the comedy-adventure DRAFTED on amazon.com and former Washington DC lobbyist who also loves free travel & food.

Fountain of Youth Discovered…

Fountain of Youth (200px)I’ve done it. I’ve discovered the fountain of youth. I have succeeded where Ponce de Leon failed.The fountain is in southern California. But, there are no sacred waters to drink; no special potions to swallow. All you have to do is move here.

Don’t believe me? Ask anybody out here who is not a native. When did you arrive in Los Angeles? They will likely say…”Oh, I haven’t been here that long. I think it was around 1989.”  And you will say, “Dude, that was 26 years ago.” And they will say, “But I look and feel the same as the day I arrived.”

There are several reasons I think L.A. is the fountain of youth: everybody exercises, lots of sunshine, emphasis on healthy eating habits, nobody smokes cigarettes, or lays in the sun, plastic surgery, liposuction, and the number one reason…no seasons.

That’s right, you may celebrate your birthday every year, but without any seasons, there is no sense of time passing. No changing of the leaves on a palm tree. No cancelled school days from snow. No cold winter’s nights in front of a fire. No spring awakening with plants and grass sprouting from the ground, Every day is the same!

I’ll use myself as an example. I moved here in 2008 and took this picture. Here is a picture I posted in 2015. Exactly the same!  CU Me Jobs1me2

So if you want to live forever and never change, come to L.A. or San Diego. Give me a call, I can recommend some nice neighborhoods.

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Richard Allan Jones is the author of the comic/adventure novel, “DRAFTED” and the soon to be released thriller, “Identity Check.”

My Dad, the President

Every time I write about something “political,” somebody gets upset. But my new novel, “Identity Check,” has politics as a central theme, so I might as well get use to it.

Pollsters predict that after all the smoke clears that the 2016 presidential election will likely offer Clinton vs Bush. Sound familiar? That would mean our latest series of presidents would be Bush (41st), Clinton (42nd), Bush (43rd), Obama (44th)….and then Bush or Clinton…again.

It got me to thinking about families in politics. Was George Bush and G.W. the first father/son in the White House? Nope…it was John Adams (2nd president) and his son, John Quincy Adams (6th president). john quincy adams

Benjamin Harrison, the 23rd president, was the grandson of William Henry Harrison, the 9th. Teddy Roosevelt (26th) and Franklin D. Roosevelt (32nd) were distant cousins. William Howard Taft (27th) had a son and grandson who were both U.S. Senators. And then there’s the Kennedy clan.

Having a recognizable name (or being related to one) has always helped in politics, as well as business or entertainment. Could a Diane Rodham (with Republican parents) get the Democratic presidential nomination? Maybe, but she has a much better chance as Hillary Diane Rodham-Clinton.Generated by  IJG JPEG Library

Jeb-BushYou need to remember the name to vote, but before you decide which box to check, look at the person behind the name and what they stand for. Don’t judge Jeb Bush on what his brother did, or Hilary Clinton based on her husband Bill’s popularity and accomplishments.

Most importantly, register, cast your opinion, and be part of the process. Who knows, it may be the start of your own political dynasty.

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richallan-300dpi-3125x4167 - CopyRichard Allan Jones is the author of the comedy/adventure, Drafted, and the upcoming political thriller, “Identity Check.”

 

My Top 10 New Year’s Resolutions For Other People

baby03Everyone knows you make and break New Year’s resolutions for several reasons:  lazy, forgetful, impossible, what was I thinking, etc. Many people do not even bother because we are bad at follow-up, but very good at making excuses…i.e. You promised to clean out the garage two years ago, but still claim you can’t find a decent broom.

So I decided this year to make NY resolutions for other people…resolutions that they should make for themselves, but will never do so. Once I publish these, it will be up to you to see that the person (s) keep their resolution and do it in a timely manner. Okay?  Here are my top ten:

1.  The Kadashians are to enter a witness protection program and never be heard from again.

2.  Democrats & Republican will merge and form the Unity Party saving billions of dollars in wasted time fighting each other and not getting anything done.

3.  Following that merger, Rush Limbaugh will lose all sense of purpose, quit his radio show, and join an African tribe that only eat the droppings of wildebeests.

4.  Kim Jong-un will realize he does have a sense of humor and will agree to appear in “The Interview” sequel, playing “Curly” from the Three Stooges.

5.  Conversely, James Franco and Seth Rogen decide to stop making low-class, potty/drug-induced non-funny films, and announce they are producing a re-boot of “Gone With The Wind,” and they would be playing Scarlet O’Hara and her evil twin sister.

6.  Fox News will be bought out by BET (Black Entertainment Network), everyone is fired, and the channel re-purposed to fictional stories about jazz and the blues.

7.  The movie studios will decide that featured background actors have been grossly slighted over the years and they will now receive credit in the titles for their contribution, because they are just as important as the guy who cleans up after the horses & camels, the food truck driver, and the second hairbrush holder for the real actors. (Okay, this one, I admit, was for me)

8.  The Golden Globes will change their current unknown selection process to a random drawing. Every producer or first cast actor who appeared in a film/TV show that year will put their name in a giant hopper and 50 names will be drawn at random. Show will still be televised because (much like previous shows) every time your name isn’t called, you have to do a shot. Everybody loves to see their favorite celebrity get smashed.

9.  The United Nations will now recognize all legitimate countries, and introduce a new conflict resolution process where the leaders of the countries in conflict will arm wrestle or play beer pong to select a winner. Loser backs off or is forced to sit in the corner until he/she agree to do so.

10. Ford and Chevy vow to fight the new open relationship with Cuba, fearing that if consumers find out how to keep their car working for 50 years, they will go out of business.

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Richard Allan Jones is the author of the comedy/adventure novel, DRAFTED.

My First Novel
My First Novel